| LJ Idol Week 8: Voting |
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| 12:47am 21/12/2009 |
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Voting for the 8th week of ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) therealljidol is now up here. As usual, you can choose whether to go to that entry or use the poll under the cut, should you choose to vote for me. Darn it, I was getting used to not needing to worry about the votes, after being in the tribe with immunity for two weeks in a row.
Any votes you care to give are appreciated.
( A poll! A poll! )
EDIT: And now, the poll under the cut is actually the right poll. I lost my train of thought halfway through the copypasta last night, seems like. XD |
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| LJ Idol Week 8: Reprobate - God Hates Furries |
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| 03:54pm 20/12/2009 |
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mood:  silly
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Written for season 6 of therealljidol. Please visit the topic to see what others have written on the subject of "Reprobate".
Noun
reprobate (plural reprobates)
1. One rejected by God; a sinful person
(Wiktionary, "reprobate")
A lot of you have already figured this out, or knew already from last season, or knew already because you plain know me. (No, I'm not about to tell you once again that I say "fuck" a lot, though I do say it a fucking lot.) For the rest of you, just so we're on the same page, I'll make this perfectly clear: I'm a furry. ("Gasp!" you say. "But Alex, I would never have figured, what with the recurring anthropomorphic animals in your icons and entry illustrations!" Well, so it goes.) I am also, on a hobby basis, a writer and an artist. That, at least, you should have picked up on your own. While I'm not going to claim that this is true for all furry writers and artists, in my case, this means two things: I write smut often featuring anthropomorphic animals, and I draw my fair share of furry porn.
I do this not, as many people (including furries) seem to think, because I get off on every single idea I draw. Most of it I'm pretty indifferent to, and I've written things that are definitely well out of my comfort zone, because that was where the story wanted to go. I see the erotica as an artistic challenge; writing porn is in many ways harder (no pun intended) than writing things that aren't smut. Goodness knows it virtually always takes me significantly longer. Drawing what might be dismissed as wank material leaves less room to hide anatomical boo-boos by dressing the characters in baggy clothes — it's all out there. It's one of the most fascinating and challlenging forms of character interaction there is, from a purely artistic point of view. Sure, sometimes I churn out something largely because I think it would be hot, but it'd be disturbingly narcissistic of me to diddle myself to it, even then.
Anyway, it has come to my attention, that according to one Mr. J, founder of the now-defunct website God Hates Furries (archive.org copy), God hates me for my choice of hobby. This is something of a surprise, but as I am agnostic, I can't really claim to know how God rolls, so I'm sure Mr. J has a much better grasp of God's turn-offs than I ever did. Then again, I happen to know that God also hates fags (www.godhatesfags.com), Sweden (www.godhatessweden.com) and shellfish (Leviticus 11:10-12), so I'm not alone. Actually, if for some reason you really wanted to piss the Big Guy off, pretty much the most offensive thing you could do would be, like, logging onto FurryMUCK as a gay Swedish lobster. Which actually sounds like a pretty damn funny character concept. But God would hate it; those no doubt more well-versed in his ways than I am said so.
But you know, I'm okay with that. If God hates me, that's alright. I don't need to be a member of his secret club and I don't need access to his treehouse. I'll sit here, under my cork tree, and draw my furry porn, and I'm happy with that. It's a good life. |
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| LJ Idol Week 7: One Touch - Gentle Ol' Barney |
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| 07:50pm 12/12/2009 |
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Written for season 6 of therealljidol. Please visit the topic to see what others have written on the subject of "One Touch." This entry can be considered a minor spoiler for what's going to happen in a future chapter of my NaNoWriMo novel, posted at ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) writing_mungo
"And this is Barney."
Jillian looked from Kay to the ill-natured mule pacing on the other side of the fence, its attention firmly on them. "Oh. Um. He's nicer than he looks, right?" It was a pretty stupid thing to say, but it was the only thing she could come up with under pressure. She could not let on that she knew all about Ol' Barney already. It had never struck her before quite so hard as it did now; all the sneaking they'd done, the very deliberate trespassing, how it had been targetted on Kay. Her Kay, who she would never describe as someone who'd warrant Peacekeeper attention. Kay was a bit funny, sure, obsessing so over keeping her hair and clothes neat and kissing Jillian goodnight three times and whatever else, but under that she was a sweet, loving woman.
The older woman laughed. "You could try him, if you think you're quick enough to get away."
It wasn't seriously meant; Jill could tell. But she still took those last few steps forward, putting herself in reach of the beast, which lunged at the fence in response, ears flattened and ugly yellow teeth bared. It was stupid. It was utterly, hideously stupid. But she reached out and somehow managed to brush a few fingers over the mule's cheek.
She willed him to stand still, and he did, happily pushing his muzzle into her hand as she rubbed it; changed from vicious hooved avenger to having the manners of a gentle, spoiled pony with the touch of Jillian's hand. Then she looked over at Kay, saw the look of shocked surprise and mounting panic on her girlfriend's face, and swallowed hard.
Oh, right. Showing Kay that she could pacify Ol' Barney was utterly, hideously, monumentally stupid. Well, fuck. |
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